Sometimes life takes us where we least expect it.If someone had told me two years ago- hell even a year ago ago that my husband and I would be exploring a D/s relationship I would have told them they were crazy. Me, submissive? No way in Hell! Yet here we are doing just that.
From the beginning of our marriage I have been the responsible one. I've been the one who plans ahead and reminds everyone what they need to do. I'm usually the voice of reason and the one who worries what other people will think, something that has held me back in more ways than one. My husband on the other hand has always been a "fly by the seat of my pants kind of guy." He let me handle and worry about things while he went about his business. This caused a lot of friction between us in the past. I envied his laid back attitude and resented his seeming lack of concern for all sorts of things.
But things change. People mature and relationships grow. Over the years he has become more responsible and stable. He's still spontaneous and I now recognize his laid back attitude as a calmness and an ability to accept things and people as they are and "not sweat the small stuff" as he puts it. Because of this I've been able to trust him more.
This trust has allowed me to open up to him about things I never knew I wanted. I still struggle with expressing what I want- I worry that it's wrong and I become embarrassed, but since placing my trust in him he is able to draw me out of myself and guide me in this journey. When I become overwhelmed and feel out of control I am able to lean on him in ways I was never able to before. I've noticed that he is more protective of me and I am more willing - even happy to do things he asks me to instead of becoming irritated.
He has always been confident, but I believe that my trust in him and willingness to lean on him has made him more confident and allowed him to be more dominant. I know that his dominance has allowed me to let go somewhat( something I'm still working on) and experience another side to myself.
I expected to be entering middle age with a decrease in libido due to impending menopause and mourning the fact that our children will soon be leaving the nest. Instead my husband and I are experiencing a new and exciting sex life and while I'm in no hurry for the kids to move out just yet, I am looking forward to more time alone with my husband. Sometimes what we least expect is exactly what we need.
very well put
ReplyDeleteOh, I so agree. Six months ago, I would have maybe been intrigued with the D/s idea, two years ago - No Way! But two years ago I never ever would have thought that my marriage could be this wonderful, this open and trusting... maybe we have to get a little older and wiser to realize that this is what we wanted all along :)
ReplyDeleteI don't think either one of us would have been ready for this when we were younger, but I am so glad we are now.
DeleteI am so happy Mrs. D that you are able to find such happiness with Mr. D in this wonderful dynamic.
ReplyDeleteIt certainly puts a lot things into a new perspective.And I feel it gives room for both Dom/ and sub to grow.
It definitely has given me a chance to grow and an outlet to relieve stress.
DeleteI feel the same!! Last year I would have said no way! Lol! :)
ReplyDeleteOne more thing, I nominated you for the very inspiring blogger award :) my new post has details :)
DeleteI worry that it's wrong and I become embarrassed, but since placing my trust in him he is able to draw me out of myself and guide me in this journey. Mrs D this statement spoke so loud to me, I feel that way often. We are in the early stages of our DD life so doubt and fear is something I deal with often. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank you for stopping by. I'm so happy that something I wrote spoke to you. We're new to this too and I struggle with doubt, fear, insecurity, you name it all the time. It is so helpful to have this community for support and a sense of belonging.
ReplyDelete