Monday, February 25, 2013

He Thinks I'm Beautiful

                                                   I was looking forward to getting my hair done today. The split ends are awful not to mention my roots- I'm a natural blonde,but mother nature just needs a reminder every six weeks or so and I'm noticing more gray so letting it go is just killing me.  I've been putting it off because I didn't want to spend extra money on non necessities until my claim was approved and I knew I'd have the extra money. I was getting so desperate I almost bought hair color to do it myself at home. I once let my mom highlight my hair at home years ago and it didn't go well at all. I had to pay my hairdresser to fix it which cost me more money, so it's worth it to pay her in the first place. I did take the scissors to my bangs though and I don't think they came out too bad- well at least they're not hanging in my eyes anymore.
                                 The moment I knew that my claim was approved I made the appointment and arranged my schedule to accommodate it. As I'm getting ready to head out the door my hairdresser called to say her little one was sick and she had to take him to the doctor. She felt really bad because she knew that I had put off this appointment and that I was chomping at the bit to get my hair done. I told her not to worry about it, just take care of her little one and we'd reschedule.
                                  Of course after I got off the phone I let out a few expletives and complained that my hair looks like crap and what am I going to do, I can't wait another week. Mr. D  just shook his head and told me that I looked fine. " I look like hell!" I said " just look at my roots and my hair won't do anything, it's too long and frizzy!" 
                                  I'm usually not a vain person, but I do try to take some pride in my appearance. I have issues with my self image and I am trying to work on that. I'm trying to eat healthier and lose weight, but that change isn't going to happen overnight. My hair is something I can make look good now and if it looks good maybe people won't notice my other flaws so much. It sounds silly and shallow I know , but it is what it is.
                                   As I lamented about the fact that the gray was showing and I had to wait even longer my husband tried to cheer me up. "Look at it this way, you're going gray and you still got laid. You're still beautiful to me." I mumbled something along the lines of he was just saying that to make me feel better when he stood in front of me and looked me in the eye and said "I said you're beautiful and that is that... end of story."
                                    The way he looked at me I knew he meant it. I won't run out and buy a box of hair dye or scramble to find a hairdresser to do me today. Yes I'll still cover the gray, but I won't worry about it as much and I'll wait till I can reschedule the appointment whenever that is. It doesn't seem as earth shatteringly important now. My husband thinks I'm beautiful and that is what's important.


Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Triple Whammy

                                                     I wasn't sure what I was going to post today. I didn't really feel I had anything particularly interesting going on and I thought perhaps I would post the latest meme going around. It seemed like a fun way to share something about myself and I always enjoy learning about others here in blogland. But as I was relaxing last night perusing all of your posts I was hit with a triple whammy and any thoughts of sharing fun facts about myself went right out the window.
                                  First I headed over to Ponyboy's. The heading on his post saying goodbye should have given me a clue. I thought he was just letting us all know he and his wife were heading off on their vacation and he would fill us in when he got back.  Imagine my surprise when I realized that he was saying goodbye for good, closing up shop and shutting down his blog. I was blindsided, this was not the post I was expecting to read.
                                  As I scrolled down the comments I got yet another shock, a real one two punch. Not only is Ponyboy leaving, but so are Mr. No Name and Faerie. Say it ain't so I thought, but lo and behold when I ran over to Mr. No Names his post left no question that he was indeed retiring from the world of blogging and Faerie's comment pretty much said the same thing.
                                  It was with a heavy heart that I trudged over to Faerie's and what she posted said enough for me to know that she  was leaving this community too. Three  bloggers gone in one day!
                                   Now I know that I haven't been around long and I have never met any of them, but after hanging around on the fringes at first as a lurker and then as a blogger I felt as if I were just getting to know them. I didn't always comment, but I read their posts faithfully and would frequently share something or other from their blogs with my husband.
                                        I always got a little something out of their posts. Sometimes they would make me laugh or just smile and others would bring a tear to my eye. Some of their writings made me think hard about how I felt about certain things and made me view them in a completely different light. I even learned something on occasion.
                                      All three of these people were ( and I'm sure still will be) interesting, thought provoking and entertaining. I for one will miss them as I'm sure many of you will to. I wish them all well and hope that they don't stay away forever, even if it's just to drop in and comment on other's blogs now and then.                                                           

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Better Than Roses

                                                 When I was younger I placed a lot more emphasis on Valentines Day. I wanted romance and grand gestures and frequently I ended up disappointed. As I've gotten older I've placed less importance on all the hoopla surrounding this holiday and find myself pleasantly surprised more often then not.
                                    He doesn't surprise me with expensive presents and I don't make reservations at some fancy restaurant. We might exchange cards, sometimes he'll get me roses- though not red he thinks red roses are overdone. I might cook a nice meal or order out( he frequently jokes that the best thing I make is a phone call.) This year it was pizza, we've been making a real effort to eat healthier and haven't had pizza in months so it was a real treat and he was thrilled .
                               This year instead of roses he surprised me with something less traditional. The other day I called him shortly before I left work and he sounded awful. He rarely gets sick, but this afternoon he could barely talk and was going to take a nap. Besides feeling bad for him I was a little disappointed because I knew we'd have the house to ourselves for a few hours and had hoped that we could take advantage of that opportunity. When I got home he was sound asleep on the couch and the bottle of Nyquil was out of the cabinet. He woke up a few hours later and looked up at me trying to smile and asked "How you feeling Babe?" 
                           I told him I was just fine and asked him how he felt and while almost coughing up a lung he tells me "I feel great. "Then he looks around to make sure the kids aren't around and tells me to go into our bedroom and look under the pillow, he bought me a present. "But Valentines Day isn't for a couple days yet."
                            "Close enough" he said "now go." Yes sir! Off to the bedroom I go wondering what I'll find. With butterflies in my stomach I lift one of the pillows and find a bag with a long thin handled riding crop sticking out. Oh my- I don't know whether to squeal with excitement or run for the hills. I've wondered about trying a crop, but have also been rather intimidated by it. It took me a few moments to open the bag and actually take the riding crop out of the bag and really look at it. Okay not too scary I think, I can handle this it won't be too bad- I hope. At least I won't have to worry about it for at least a few days with him not feeling well. Then I look in the bag and find a new flogger, similar to the other one we have, but with longer falls and a bottle of massage oil. Way better than roses!
                               When I came out to the living room he asked me if I got the text he sent me at lunchtime."No" I told him "and I don't remember seeing a text message when I called you later." I checked my phone and sure enough there was a text. Actually I'm glad I didn't see it at work. I would have been sitting in a puddle and would have been more disappointed and really frustrated that his plans for me had to be put on hold. Apparently he had been thinking along the same lines as me until he started to feel sick.
                                  Fortunately he was feeling better today and he just couldn't wait to try out his new toy. That riding crop stung like hell. Of course it always seemed to land on the same damn spot! I have a spot on my right cheek that seems to be more sensitive and he just loves to find that spot over and over. After a while he brought out the new flogger which was very nice and then he switched to the leather belt. My bottom was as red as that heart shaped box of chocolates and had such a nice warm glow afterwards that I felt for the rest of the afternoon. Oh yes- way better than roses.

Sunday, February 10, 2013


                                                   Tomorrow morning I start light duty- woohoo! I'll be in a completely different environment then I'm used to and definitely out of my comfort zone, but I'm trying to look at it as a new experience and one step closer to getting better. It was also a good excuse to buy new shoes since I needed a nice pair of low heeled shoes to wear with slacks and dresses.
                                     My youngest took the opportunity to go shopping with me so we could check out prom dresses. We have a tendency to but heads when we shop together. My input isn't usually appreciated, it seems like anything I pull is automatically rejected because if Mom likes it has to be awful and she thinks she looks fat or just plain horrible in everything. She has no idea how beautiful she is and it just pains me to hear how critical she is of herself. I hate to admit it, but that's something she's learned from me. I have my own issues with self image and unfortunately that's rubbed off on her. But today was a good day for us, she showed me the dress she had been considering and found two more (Mom's picks) that she really liked. 
                                 Since I'm returning to work and we'll have less time together Mr. D and I took the time to get out the other night, attending a benefit for the family of a friend of ours who recently died. I got to see a lot of people that I haven't seen in quite awhile, had a really good time and helped raise money for Butch's family. It was rather bittersweet, the benefit was a success and his widow was so touched that so many of Butch's friends came together to help out their family, but he is still gone and the money that was raised won't bring her husband back.
                                   Occasions like this tend to make you want to hold onto your own loved ones a little tighter and that is what Mr. D and I did when we got home. He put is mark on me in a number of places other than my behind, not leaving bruises, but reddened areas that are just now fading. I was left in a puddle afterwards and he had to help steady me when I finally went to get up because my legs were like jello. It was a very intense reaffirmation of our love and commitment to one another, a reminder that life is too short not to show the one you love just how much they mean to you.

Thursday, February 7, 2013

One Of Those Days

                              . Today started out normal, just like any other day... then I got out of bed. It started with the phone call to HR. I had hoped that since my first two phone calls were in the afternoon and all I got was the woman's voice mail I would have better luck catching her in the morning. My Dr. has released me to work light duty and I realize there is no guarantee that they will find something for me to do, but at least return my phone call so I know where I stand. With my luck she'll claim I never contacted her and I'll be marked as a no show or they won't pay me because I had been released to work light duty.
                                  The next phone call was to another person in HR, who handles injury claims. She tells me she hasn't had a chance to complete her investigation into my claim. It's been almost a month- I have filled out all the necessary forms some of them twice, my Dr. has filled out his forms, BWC has done their part and are allowing my claim. All of this was set in motion within an hour or so of my injury so they've had all the necessary info for weeks. At this rate I will be back to work in full swing before I receive payment and that's if they rule in my favor. I've kept copies of everything and have kept a written record of my phone calls.
                                After these frustrating phone calls I check my calender and realize that PT for today is at 8:30 not 10:00 ( it's now 8:35) I call and apologize and explain that I mixed up my days. No problem they tell, me just come in at ten. Unfortunately I only made it half way there. In the middle  of one of the busiest intersections my vehicle decided to die at the red light. My van was running smoothly, wasn't making any funny noises, but for some reason it just died and wouldn't start again. I put on my flashers, called Mr. D, called PT to let them know I wouldn't be there and waited.
                                While I waited for my husband and the tow truck- with my flashers on mind you- I watched car after car pull up behind me then honk their horn at me when the light turned. Didn't they see my flashers? They could have easily pulled into the other left hand turning lane - there are two left hand turning lanes at this intersection.They could have easily gone into the other lane, but noooo, they just had to pull up behind me then angrily honk their horns and then flip me off or yell as they drove around me.I hope this isn't going to be an expensive repair- this is an added expense I don't need right now.
                                I'd like to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head or pour myself a good stiff drink, but I don't have any booze in the house. Since neither option is really viable I'll just rant here instead. Hopefully the afternoon or at least tomorrow will be better. I know that in the big scheme of things this is trivial and I know things could be worse, I have a lot to be grateful for. Thanks for listening and I hope you all have a good day.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Injured Reserve

                                  There's really not much going on around here lately. I'm getting rather bored actually what with limited activity, not driving for awhile and not working. I t's not so much that I miss work,  it's just that with not getting out of the house much and not being able to do as much as I want, things can get rather boring. 
                                Things are looking up though, I'm driving again and doing more. I may even be able to return to work on light duty this week. I'll probably be stuck in some cubby hole scanning documents or something equally as boring.
                                    Doc wants me to have three more weeks of physical therapy and they still won't allow me back on the bike( Doc wants no resistance till I' m fairly well healed.) At least Mr. D has been using the bike regularly so one of us is getting their exercise.
                                    Things have been pretty vanilla for the most part. Mr. D is hesitant - he's afraid of hurting me worse. I can't say I blame him, but I've assured him that I know what I can and can't do and that I have no problem letting him know if  somethings too much. He did manage to give me a long spanking while the kids were at the movies. He said he is holding back, but warned me that once I'm healed look out, I'll wish I were still on the injured reserve list. Oh my - I can still feel a warm glow on my bottom from my spanking earlier, I wonder how it will feel when he's not holding back. The sooner I heal the sooner I'll find out.