My Very First Award

                     I'm so excited! Elle fromelle's world  and Tori from  Pain's Pleasure nominated me for a Very Inspiring Blogger award. I don't know how inspiring I've been, but I do know that  I have been inspired by my fellow bloggers. You have inspired me to be more open, to explore another side of myself and have offered me words of encouragement when I needed a boost.

                       I realize that some of you have already been nominated and some of you don't like to participate in these things, so I won't be offended if you choose not to participate.For those of you who choose to participate here are the rules.

                      1. Display the award logo on your blog.

                       2.Link back to the person nominating you(I think I have figured this out ,but if the link doesn;t work I apologize.)

                       3. State 7 things about yourself.

                       4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link back to them.

                        5. Notify these other bloggers and give them the award requirements.

                          Since I was nominated twice I'm going to list 14 things about myself rather than do this twice.

                          1. I wear glasses- can't see a damn thing without them.

                           2. I have 3 siblings.

                            3. I am the oldest of my siblings.

                            4. I don't drink coffee- can't stand the stuff.

                            5. I grew up in a small town.

                            6. I have 3 dogs.

                            7. I am NOT a cat person.

                            8. My favorite color is blue.

                            9. I love to read.

                            10. I used to be a Girl Scout.

                            11. I love to swim even though I rarely get to because I don't have access to a pool.

                             12. I can be very bossy sometimes, just ask my siblings.

                             13.I tend to be impatient.

                             14. I have known my best friend since kindergarten.

                             Now for the blogs I have nominated. If I have left anyone out I am sorry.

                             1.ShelbyCrossWriter Hers was the first blog I came across and I've been hooked ever since.

                              2Fondles @ Fondler's anonymous

                             3.Faerie @ faerie learns to fly
                             4.Faithful @ faithful2master
                              5.Anna May @ Diary of a Submissive Woman
                             6. Cassaundra @ Cassaundra with a collar.
                              7. Mrs. Soft Bottom @ Life under a firm hand.
                             8. Hislilangel @ An Angelic Submissive.
                      .
                               9.Morningstar @ The Journey.
                             10.Abby @ Finally finding me.
                             11. Florida Dom @ Florida Dom's Corner.
                             12.Fiona @ SirQ and Me.
                             13.Conina @ Exploring surrender.
                             14. His(un)submissiveYoungLady
                                           15.Roxanne Rawlings
                                These are just some of the bloggers who have inspired me in one way or another. I hope they inspire you as much as they inspire me.
                                           

What You Least Expect

                                     Sometimes life takes us where we least expect it.If someone had told me two years ago- hell even a year ago ago that my husband and I would be exploring a D/s relationship I would have told them they were crazy. Me, submissive? No way in Hell! Yet here we are doing just that.
                          From the beginning of our marriage I have been the responsible one. I've been the one who plans ahead and reminds everyone what they need to do. I'm usually the voice of reason and the one who worries what other people will think, something that has held me back in more ways than one. My husband on the other hand has always been a "fly by the seat of my pants kind of guy." He let me handle and worry about things while he went about his business. This caused a lot of friction between us in the past. I envied his laid back attitude and resented his seeming lack of concern for all sorts of things. 
                           But things change. People mature and relationships grow. Over the years he has become more responsible and stable. He's still spontaneous and I now recognize his laid back attitude as a calmness and an ability to accept things and people as they are and "not sweat the small stuff" as he puts it. Because of this I've been able to trust him more.
                          This trust has allowed me to open up to him about things I never knew I wanted. I still struggle with expressing what I want- I worry that it's wrong and I become embarrassed, but since placing my trust in him he is able to draw me out of myself and guide me in this journey. When I become overwhelmed and feel out of control I am able to lean on him in ways I was never able to before. I've noticed that he is more protective of me and I am more willing - even happy to do things he asks me to instead of becoming irritated.
                                He has always been confident, but I believe that my trust in him and willingness to lean on him has made him more confident and allowed him to be more dominant. I know that his dominance has allowed me to let go somewhat( something I'm still working on) and experience another side to myself. 
                                I expected to be entering middle age with a decrease in libido due to impending menopause and mourning the fact that our children will soon be leaving the nest. Instead my husband and I are experiencing a new and exciting sex life and while I'm in no hurry for the kids to move out just yet, I am looking forward to more time alone with my husband. Sometimes what we least expect is exactly what we need.
                           

An Exercise In Submission

                      Today is payday, which is usually a very busy day for me. It usually involves a trip to the bank, the gas station, the grocery store and whatever other errands that need done. The house also needs more attention than what it has gotten this week. Trust me no one will ever accuse me of having OCD when it comes to housework, but when things get to a certain point even I start to freak out a little.
                     Mr. D questioned whether or not I would be able to handle sitting upright in the vehicle or hobbling about the grocery store for that length of time, but I was bound and determined that with him driving and helping me I was going to accomplish my usual tasks. Unfortunately by the time I was showering later in the morning I realized that Mr. D was right - I wasn't going to be able to do everything I wanted and I was going to have to allow him and the kids to handle some of these things for me for a little while longer.
                       It's not that I love grocery shopping , but it's always been my responsibility and I' m in control of what my family eats, how much we spend etc. I don't like giving up this control, I want to hold onto something that is usually mine and decide for myself what I can and can't do. I want to get up and just do it myself, whatever it is.
                          It dawned on me in the shower that this injury is a type of exercise in submission. I have to learn to let some things go and lean on Mr. D. I have to trust that he'll take care of what needs done and that  it's okay if things aren't done my way.
                         I told Mr. D how I was feeling and apologized for being crabby. He assured me that I wasn't useless and that he would have something for me to do later on, perhaps another exercise in submission?
                         
                        

GRATEFUL AND BLESSED

                                As bored and frustrated as I am right now recovering from this injury, I have to say I am very grateful for Mr. D and the kids for their help and concern. Everyone has stepped up for the most part and with little to no complaint. Is everything getting done and getting done exactly the way Mom wants? No, but the important things are being taken care of.
                               Dirty laundry isn't piling up, but the  clean clothes need to be brought upstairs so they can be folded and put away. The kids got the grocery shopping done minus only 2 items, one they were out of and the other was because the line at the deli was too long. The store was busy and it was something we could do without so no harm done. They've kept the house picked up, but I'm itching to have the rugs shook out and a good sweeping done- maybe that's something Mr. D can help me with later this afternoon. My wonderful husband has cooked everyday, he even made a delicious turkey dinner on Sunday and has done the dishes a couple of times( which he made a point to tell the girls about.)
                                They've all been good about letting me know that I shouldn't feel guilty about asking for their help and even try to anticipate my needs asking if I need anything before they head out the door or the other end of the house. Sometimes the kids seem so self absorbed, but I guess the lessons about caring for and helping others  got through.  
                                 Mr. D has gone above and beyond in my opinion. I needed help the first few days just to get myself up and down and being in a sitting position was next to impossible without him supporting my upper leg, so needless to say his assistance was needed in the bathroom where I would have much rather had my privacy. Sorry if that's TMI. I had a meltdown, apologizing and crying  because I was frustrated and embarrassed.  He just hugged me and told me I had nothing to be embarrassed about and that he was just doing for me what I would do for him.
                                 We haven't been able to have any playtime, but he did manage to give me a "therapeutic spanking just to get the circulation going" when I complained that my butt was numb. It was brief and light, but playful and it made me smile. It was nice  that we could still connect in some small way.
                                I don't know how much longer I will have my activity limited or how long everyone will be willing to happily take care of things, but right now I'm grateful that my family has been so wonderful , caring concerned and helpful. I 've always considered myself blessed to have them, but now I realize just how blessed I really am.

                                         Why is it that when things seem to be going along smoothly something always happens to muck things up? I haven't increased my time on the exercise bike yet, but I have increased the RPM's. I have ridden the bike faithfully everyday- that is until yesterday.
                             Unfortunately the other night at work I did a one legged split in the hall, and of course I had an audience to witness me go down. Two very nice strong gentleman kept offering to help me up, but I needed a few moments to catch my breath and get myself in a sitting position so that they could even assist me into a wheelchair.  
                             After a trip down to the ER, an x-ray of the knee, and a shot of Demerol the Dr. informed me that I had most likely pulled or tore my hamstring. Mr.D got a 4 am phone call to come and collect me. He normally sleeps like a rock, but for some reason he was awake when I called. He said that something  woke him around 2:30 and he  thought about calling me, but didn't want to bother me if I were busy.
                                We made it home, but getting out of the vehicle, up the steps and into the house was another story. My neighbors if they were up at 5:00 probably think I'm nuts because there I sat in the driveway crying with my husband holding me. Any time I tried to move my leg it went into spasms and and the pain was horrible. Eventually with the help of our neighbor Dan we made it into the house and to the recliner where I've remained for the last 2 days. 
                               I'm hoping that with some rest, ice and anti-inflammatories things will improve over the weekend. I hate having to depend on everyone to help me up and down and my butt's getting numb from sitting so much. We'll see what the doctor has to say on Monday, but until then no work, no exercise and no playtime. I guess I'll try to catch up on some reading and watch a lot of crap TV and try not to let this setback get me down.
                              

A Rule Not A Resolution

                                             I quit making New Years Resolutions years ago. I never keep them, so what's the point? Oh I may say I'll try to do this or stop doing that, but I don't make an actual resolution. I don't commit myself to anything that way I don't fail. But this year things are a little bit different.
                                                I have a resolution this year. I did not make this resolution myself mind you , it was made for me by Mr. D., although he's calling it a RULE not a resolution. I am to do 15 minutes on the exercise bike everyday or there will be consequences. I know 15 minutes isn't a lot , but it's just a starting point. The goal is to get up to 30 minutes at least tree times a week.
                                                He is apparently serious about this. He placed the bike in the alcove in the living room instead of downstairs in the rec room. No way for me to cheat and say I rode the bike when I was downstairs while I'm actually watching TV. He put a note on the fridge that says " I WANT MY 15 MINUTES." No way for me to say I forgot. And he's keeping track by recording my time in a day planner.
                                                  What are my consequences you ask? I asked the same thing. His first response was "You don't want to know."
                                                   I explained to him that I did need to know, he needed to be clear on what the consequences were to be.
At first he decided that a good caning would be my punishment, but I pointed out to him that the seat was already uncomfortable and it might be very difficult to ride the bike with welts on my ass. He agreed saying he didn't want me  squirming  too much while trying to ride the bike and fall off and hurt myself so he would think on it and get back to me. Me and my big mouth. Chances are the more he thinks the worse the consequence will be.
                                                    At least I don't have to do this alone. He has decided that he will also use the bike and is keeping track of his progress to. With his help and him making me accountable for my actions this may be one New Years rule I will keep.

Where Did He Go?

                                     The kids were gone , one at work the other at school and I had just finished my last post when Mr. D said "Find us something on the radio to listen to." As I leaned over the table and chose a radio station I felt whack!whack!Whack! on my backside. I immediately jumped up and saw Mr. D wooden spoon in hand. "That sucker really hurts, you think we might start with a little warm up?" I asked. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! again with the wooden spoon. "How's that for warm up?"
                                     He led me to our bedroom and instructed me to undress and I eagerly complied. As I undressed he said nothing just stood there stoically. I leaned over the bed as he pulled out his "bag of tricks" which holds the rope, cuffs and floggers. Then he came to stand next to me and said "On your knees, Me first." I got down on my knees and looked up at him. There was no playful smile on his face, no endearing tone to his voice when he said "Hold out your arms for me" and proceeded to place a pair of handcuffs about my wrists.
                                      When he was satisfied that the cuffs were secure and not too tight so as to cut into me he simply said "You may begin." I took his cock into my mouth and began to lick and suck him. After several moments he held my head in place as he fucked my face and all I could think was Where did he go? Where did my loving husband who kissed me softly and whispered sweet nothings into my ear as he made love to me last night go? He had been replaced by this hard dominating man-he had been replaced by Sir.
                                       After a time he instructed me to stop. He helped me to stand, but only because it was hard to get my bearing with the handcuffs on. "Onto the bed " he commanded "Face down ass up." I climbed onto the bed and scooted forward a little so that my feet weren't hanging off the bed then tried to lower myself as slowly as I could so that I didn't fall face first into the mattress. He then began to spank my bottom first with his hand and then the leather paddle. I was starting to feel a nice warm glow on my ass when he said"Sit up straight." I managed to get myself up right but being on a mattress and having my wrists cuffed I was a little wobbly and must have looked panicky at the thought of falling back off the bed because I felt a hand at my back gently steadying me and then I heard him say "It's okay I"ve got you, I won't let you fall."
                                      Ah - I thought there he is, but only for a moment because the next thing I knew he was tweaking one of my nipples with one hand and smacking my ass with the other. Then he said very casually "I still have those clothes pins in the nightstand." CLOTHES PINS! I definitely did not like the clothes pins . My eyes got as big as saucers  and he got an evil grin on his face and said "Oh I definitely think I should get the clothes pins." I whimpered and he started to laugh, but he  agreed no clothes pins and told me "I just wanted to see the look on your face."
                                        He continued  his assault on my behind with his hand , the flogger both the stingy and the  heavy thuddy one , the wooden spoon and the leather paddle. I have no idea how long he spanked me when he finally asked "Would you like fucked?" I simply shook my head yes, but he was having none of that. "You have to ask" he told me . I barely whispered "Please fuck me Sir." He smiled and said "Good girl" as he released the handcuffs and proceeded to give me what I asked for.
                                        We were lying afterwards, me on top of him my head on his chest. He kissed the top of my head and rubbed my shoulders and neck telling me I was his good girl and that he loved me, when I thought there's my loving husband the tender gentle man I know. He didn't go anywhere he was right with me all along.

A Belated Happy New Year

                                    First off I would like to wish everyone a Happy New Year- I know I'm a little late, it's just been a busy week. Second I would like to thank Bonnie from My Bottom Smarts for adding me to this years new blogs. She posted a number of new blogs and some good advice for those of us who are new to blogland. Blogging has turned out to be such a positive experience and I am amazed that this community has been so welcoming and supportive.
                                     A year ago I would have never seen myself on this path that Mr. D and I have started down let alone write about it. I am so glad I found this community and hope that this time next year I will still be here and will have given back as much as I have gained from my fellow bloggers.I would love to visit longer, but Mr. D is waiting on me and says he has plans. He's been "threatening" a spanking since last night so I better not keep him waiting any longer.
                                                        Love,
                                                     Mrs. D