Friday, May 17, 2013

Rejection Sucks

                               I hate the way I feel right now. I'm angry and sad and  I feel neglected and unwanted, much like I used to feel a lot of the time. I realize that there is going to be a period of adjustment with his new job, but does that mean that pretty much everything grinds to a halt and for how long?
                              Here I sit on a Friday night, our youngest is  spending the night at a friends, our oldest is out with her boyfriend and I don't have to go to work. We should be enjoying each other and taking advantage of an empty house, but here I sit all alone upset and frustrated. I never stood a chance he was asleep on the couch before I made it out of the shower. Last week was the same -after we saw our youngest off to prom ( she looked beautiful by the way) I told him we had the house to ourselves for several hours and his response was "Sorry honey I'm just too tired."
                             I'm tired too, but I still need that connection and rejection really sucks. Then I feel guilty because I should be more understanding. He gets up early and has to work all week, but you know what? So do I and I'm still willing and wanting. 
                                I'm trying to be patient, but that's easier said than done. There has to be some balance here. He has to realize that the longer this part of our relationship gets put on the back burner the longer it takes to get back. Feelings of resentment build up and they become harder to deal with. 
                                 I don't want to go backwards and I don't want to feel this way anymore. It hurts too much and I don't like the person I become. I've got to find a way to make him understand without complaining or whining, but I feel as if that's what he"ll hear when I try to talk to him and I'm afraid of being rejected again when I try to initiate any intimacy. It becomes a vicious cycle - I get rejected, then I don't try and I become angry with him because he isn't initiating intimacy and everything breaks down.
                                 I used to think if we were working the same shift it would help, but even the nights I'm home he doesn't seem interested. I don't know what the answer is, but I hope we find it soon because I really don't want to go down this road again. I want to get back to the place we were before and feel safe and secure once again.                         


  1. HUG...i wish I had the answer for you, I can feel your pain, but i don't. I know your pain, I have been there. hugs abby

  2. I hope you get that connection back.

    Big Hug,

  3. Big hugs. I hate that feeling when it happens here. :(

  4. I'm sorry. Hopefully, the longer wait will make it seem sweeter.

  5. I'm sorry you are feeling this way and it's true he does need to find a way to balance work and your relationship. Good luck, Hugs

  6. Sending a big hug and I am sure this too will pass. It is hard (don't I know it) to be patient, but the reward I am sure will be worth it. Talk to him and let him now how you feel- Remember he can't read your mind :)


  7. I'm sorry this is happening to you. I know what it's like to be constantly rejected when it comes to intimacy. It sucks, big time.

    My suggestion is to talk to him about the constant rejection. Don't ask him for intimacy. Talk about why it isn't happening and how it makes you feel. You need to get to the root of the issue.

    *hugs* My thoughts are with you. I hope this time of trouble passes quickly for you.


  8. Im so sorry. I hate these feelings. I agree with ^ these ^ ladies. Talk to him, to about intimacy, but about your feelings.
    Also, maybe if he has a little nap when he gets home, he'll feel more like talking and 'stuff.'
    Hang in there. My thoughts are with you, hugs........

  9. Oh, I so understand these feelings of rejection and the desire to keep moving forward and not backward. I have been there more than once. I am sorry you are feeling that way right now and I hope you find a way to communicate your feelings with him and that you find connection really soon and a healthy balance of work and play. Sending lots of hugs your way, Terpsichore

  10. Sorry to hear that you aren't getting the connection you need. Hope you find a way to work it out. Maybe you can have a conversation with him. Good luck.


  11. i'm sorry about this. it's hard when things are disjointed. i hope things get better soon. hugs.

  12. Im so sorry your feeling this way, we cant always be upbeat all the time and sometimes a trigger might send one in a downward spiral..the key is to recognise the trigger.

    Im going to say what has already been said, really the key to all of this ttwd, relationships is general is, talk and listen.


  13. Hoping by the time this comment is up you have had some type of resolution and maybe a good whipping.

    It's hard when one partner is off.